It's not about you.
I was 39 week pregnant when my water broke. It was just like in the movies. The fluid gushed all over my bed and the white carpet beneath me. I remember running to the bathroom and the hovering over the toilet as fluid flowed out of me. My cell phone was in hand and I started making phone calls. My doctor urged me to come in, of course...even though I wasn’t contracting.
I took my time--showered, ate, and then headed to the hospital.
Eight hours later, not a single contraction; I was so discouraged and felt defeated.
My OB came in, shaking his head and yet again offered to start pitocin. I was desperate for a vaginal delivery and terrified of having a cesarean. So in efforts to avoid the doctor recommending a cesarean, I consented to the pitocin.
My labor went from zero to ninety in a matter of minutes.
Six centimeters hit. I begged for an epidural. I was numb from chest down.
That’s when the itching hit. My stomach felt like it suddenly had a case of the chicken pox. The nurse came in and pumped me full of benadryl.
Everything after that is a little hazy.
I remember the doctor coming in checking my dilation, staring at the papers that were printing out from the monitor and shaking his head. That when he said it, “You might need a cesarean if you don’t progress.” I believe I didn’t progress too much from when I had gotten the epidural, which I had expected.
I muttered, “I don’t want a cesarean.”
His response, “It’s not about you.”
The shock from those words crushed my spirits. I pushed my baby out a few hours later and was in awe of his chunky thighs.
I am here to say that yes, it is about you. Of course we all want a healthy baby. Of course we all want a healthy mom. But that does not mean that your experience isn’t important. Feeling respected and informed are so crucial in this process to motherhood. It’s so much more than just delivering a baby.
It’s a journey.
It’s a process.
It’s a life experience.
Once you give birth, your life changes forever! It can be all about having a healthy baby and mom and still be about your birth experience too. If a cesarean is necessary or wanted, then great, so be it! But I stand firm in the stance that the mother should feel respected, informed and included in that choice. No one has the right to take away a mother’s power over her own body.
This process does matter.
Brought to you by Loving Birth Services: Philadelphia Doulas, South Jersey Doulas, Central Jersey Doulas & Delaware DoulasBrought to you by Loving Birth Services: Philadelphia Doulas, South Jersey Doulas, Central Jersey Doulas & Delaware Doulas