The Potty Learning Blues

Potty learning sucks.

My kid refuses to use the potty. He knows that he should use it. He just prefers to use his pants ever so gracefully. He will tell you all the reasons and excuses as to why he doesn't want to or doesn't have to use the potty. He will run and hide in a corner to handle his business. He will tell you over and over again that he didn't pee or poop in his under or pull-up.

Here are just a few of my favorite excuses:

"The cricket in the potty is going to get my butt." (there was no cricket).

"I can't I am busy!" Classic.

"There is no more poopy, you have to go buy some more at the store"

...two minutes later he poops in his pants.

"I don't want to" ...blunt and to the point!

"I need to be a baby."


"I can't, I am going to fall down in the potty."

Well, this is somewhat valid...

"I don't want to sit. I have to stand up and poopy."

....ummm not going to work buddy!

"I want to use Sayda's potty" The kitty litter box. Me: "Come here, it's morning, so I have to take your diaper off." J:"You can't take my diaper off! Then all my pee pee and poop will fall out!" Me: "That's why we use the potty J" J: "Noooooooooooo. We use the potty to make that noise" He's talking about flushing...So apparently, the potty's sole purpose is to make flushing noises.

I DISLIKE POTTY LEARNING with a fiery burning passion, almost as much as I dislike the notion that my 3 year old should be totally potty trained right now. I didn't start taking it seriously it until he started showing interest in it; which was pretty recently. He knows what to do. He has done it plenty of times. He is just full of excuses as to why he shouldn't have to use the potty! Anyone smart enough to make up and verbalize all of these excuses is smart enough to use the potty. I have tried it all. I have tried cutting cold turkey and just using underwear, I have tried leaving him naked for a week straight, I have tried pull ups, I have tried rewards for when he uses the potty... I have tried just about everything that has ever been suggested to me. The kid is brilliant; he just prefers to piss his pants and have other people wipe his butt!

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