It's okay to say no!

September 30, 2014

You're pregnant and you're planning your beautiful birth. Of course everyone has their own thoughts and opinions that they feel like they absolutely must to share with you. Your phone is ringing off the hook, your Facebook inbox is flooded, those texts keep buzzing. 


And then, your mom/sister/mother-in-law/cousin/aunt/best friend/sister-in-law/high school English teacher...whoever...send you that text...the one where they have already invited themselves into your birthing room, or assume that they are invited. 


"I can't wait to be there for her birth, Jane!!" or

"It's going to be so awesome welcoming my niece into the world!" or

"Make sure you call me so I can come to the hospital with you." or

"I'm so excited that I will be the first one to see him!"


Stop right there. You, the pregnant mom, are in no way obligated to have anyone in your birthing room. Just because you sat next to Susie in the fourth grade and you have been best friends since, does not mean that she needs a front row seat to your baby's birth. Now if you want to invite Susie, then that is totally fine and okay. But, women giving birth should not feel obligated to have someone there because that person expects to be there. Yes, you might hurt some feelings, but the people you allow in your space will totally effect your experience. If your mom/sister/mother-in-law/cousin/aunt/best friend/sister-in-law/high school English teacher annoys you NOW, then they will annoy you a hundred times worse while you are laboring.


Even if they don't annoy you, everyone who will be present should have a role. No one should be there watching you labor. Your birth is not a movie theater. Prenatally, your doula can help distinguish roles for the people that you plan to invite in your space. You should think twice while figuring out who you want to have present. Your birth experience will last a lifetime. It's okay to say no.

Brought to you by Loving Birth Services:  Philadelphia Doulas, South Jersey Doulas, Central Jersey Doulas & Delaware Doulas

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