We hear it all the time.
During a long birth:
“Amanda, I am so sorry, I know epidural was not in my plan….. but i’m. just. so. tired.” or "I planned a vaginal birth, so I'm sorry that I am going to have a scheduled c-section now."
At a postpartum check in: “Ya know Gin, this breastfeeding thing has proven to be a nightmare, i’m sorry…but I had to switch to formula” or “I’m sorry I was so mean to you during my labor!"
Sorry for what? Please stop! There is absolutely nothing to be sorry about. Don’t apologize for getting an epidural. Don’t feel bad for cursing me out and telling me to go away—YOU’RE the one in labor. Don’t apologize to us if you planned to breastfeed, but it didn’t work out.
Don’t feel the need to apologize for you birth or your choices during your birth! And there is no need to apologize for your decisions as a parent. We are not judging you! We offer you judgement free support. It is your doulas job to support your wishes. Sometimes plan change. And you don’t know what to expect. Labor is totally unpredictable. Birth is totally unpredictable. YOUR individual experience and feelings are totally unpredictable. Whether you are a first time mom or a twenty second time mom, each experience is different.
Just because something was easy peasy for Jane Doe, doesn’t mean you will have the same experience. And just because Susie down the street had an awful experience breastfeeding, doesn’t mean you will either. Every family is unique. Every baby is different.
Ladies, please don’t be so hard on yourself! Don't feel the need to apologize, you did nothing wrong.
Brought to you by Loving Birth Services: Philadelphia Doulas, South Jersey Doulas, Central Jersey Doulas & Delaware Doulas